Spiritual Renewal + DNA
So what did you do?
This is the most frequently asked question I receive after being away for thirty days of spiritual renewal. In my previous episode (which if you haven’t heard, stop, do not pass go, and head straight for episode #45) I outlined seven principles I found valuable in creating a time of withdrawal. As many of you noticed and noted, the principles are vague and they are meant to be vague. Why? Because principles are meant to be undefined so you can lay your personal DNA over them for your life.
Now, one thing to keep in mind as I share how I implemented these seven principles is that my time away was extensive. In many ways it’s privileged. I need to say that from the get go and recognize not everyone has this opportunity. My job called for an expression of extensive spiritual renewal because of my role in the community to constantly be listening to people and for people. Listening is my service.
My hope is my process inspires ideas for you to practice on whatever scale you have to work with when planning your time of spiritual renewal. Now, let’s talk about how I implemented these seven bad boys…
Zane’s Renewal
#1 Prepare: There was a game plan from beginning to end. Notice, I didn’t say there was a schedule everyday, but I did generally plan where I would be each day. I began scheduling three months out by simply creating a list of things I wanted this time to embody by answering two guiding questions: (1) What do I never have time for in my life? (2) What do I never make the time to do with God?
After going to town on this list, I began to filter these dreams by asking, “Which of these would provide rest and insight?” Once we reached the “finals” I booked locations, events, and logistics ahead of time. Two weeks prior to my time of renewal I solidified all my plans to avoid any decision fatigue. (Alright, Google Calendar speech over.)
#2 Shut Off Noise: I knew my metaphorical Q-tip needed to be strong in this lane due to the amount of exhaustion I felt after trying to consider everyone’s thoughts and opinions with this past year’s tensions. I knew my ears needed a break in order to hear something different.
Here was my overarching principle: If it sends a message, it needs to go for the time being. No email, text messaging, any device with notifications, social media, news, and (the most difficult) podcasts. I know, let’s all have a moment of silence.
My brain had become exhausted from micro learning. Learning in small bits and crevices of your life is helpful, but it also numbs out your brain. There are certain boundaries we must take to not always be intaking something. You know, times like standing in lines, using the bathroom, driving in the car. My instinct to fill this space is actually what led to my numbness that took about two weeks to feel again.
When telling my bosses of this plan, one of them exclaimed, “Oh my goodness. Are you serious? I’m anxious for you.” It’s a common response because we think it’s impossible or impractical. I’m convinced though that often we hide behind the work by labeling it impossible instead of becoming creative to do what our souls need most. My solution to this anxiety was to simply have a family member, a good friend, and my spouse be my points of contact. There was always a way for someone to reach me if absolutely necessary. It was also revealing to me that if you’re proactive with your circles who usually need you, you will find that many people don’t actually need YOU as long as there is someone else like you around to help.
#3 Release Influences: In no way did I shut myself off from people, but I did limit my exposure to people. I knew I needed Zane to reach the surface during this time, so I limited the amount of people I encountered during the thirty days to reintroduce myself to myself. Before leaving, I cancelled all recurring hang outs and gatherings. After a week or so of only having a couple of conversations a week, it’s interesting how much time my mind had to work on the internal dialogue that influenced my external dialogue. It’s in only being able to hear my inner dialogue most of the time I was able to find out so many of my motivations and roles I assume I have to play when I’m talking with people.
At one point during my renewal, I even rented a small efficiency cabin for 3 ½ days to be truly by myself. One of the greatest convictions I gained being away from people emotionally and physically was my ability to recognize how much is still at work around me. I could hear the bugs underneath me all the time. I was highly sensitive to the temperature change throughout the day. People, I’m telling you there is more at work in the world than just us and it all started with stepping away from people.
#4 Body Takes The Lead: This principle was by far the hardest for me to implement. If this time of renewal was a coloring book, my planning created the hard lines of what each day would look like, but what my body wanted to do is what filled in and colored the space inbetween the lines. Each day I spent in prayer, I began by evaluating my body from head to toe and asking, “What hurts? What feels heavy? What can I not feel?” My schedule then reflected whatever I determined my body actually needed. It was a strange experience. If you’ve ever wondered during that month, “What is Zane doing right now at 2 oclock on a Tuesday during sabbatical?” Most likely the answer was simple, like putting on lotion.
What stood out to me in this process is how much I sacrifice my body for what I do in my day to day life. I put off its desires and signals to fulfill what other bodies (or what I think other bodies) want me to do. Listening to my body for this length of time actually helped me record and reset what my limits are in my day to day work.
#5 A Sounding Board: One of the most life saving things I did during this time is walk with a spiritual director each week. If you’ve never heard of a spiritual director before, they are basically a coach for your spiritual life. They are someone who is trained to listen to God on your behalf. At the beginning of each week we met for one hour to discuss my spiritual disciplines of the week, what I had spent time doing, and then asked pointed questions for me to discuss with God.
Throughout the process, most of my time of working out our conversations was done through exercising, journaling, walks and prayer. Due to also starting this process 6 months before my sabbatical, my director had learned a decent amount of my shadow sides and gently made me confront myself in light of who I am in Christ. This process opened my eyes to how sabbatical isn’t just a process of shutting down from everything but shutting down parts of your life to awaken other parts of yourself that have fallen asleep. (At one point I found myself yelling at my director with a passion over emotions I never knew I had shut down years ago).
$6 Do The Opposite: To be clear, I was not a monk or hermit during this time. I did a lot of normal things. Laundry. Walks. Time with family. Exercising. The major principle I was determined to follow was to spend most of the day doing the opposite of what I usually have to do every day. One of the rules of this time was that I didn’t write or produce a single piece of content. Another was to spend more of the day outside than inside. Another was to journal all of my prayers and thoughts instead of saying or typing them.
All these little practices helped the beaten paths of my brain heal and not become so exhausted and predictable. It truly helped rewire a couple parts of my brain. The final practice I took time for was meeting with every single mentor who made me into the person I am today (except for two). It was a chance to take time to remember who I was and where I came from in my life. Something we all know we should do but never take the time to do!
#7 Burn Things Up: In my last final days of renewal I felt an overwhelming sense to model outwardly what I had accomplished inwardly. As I drained the lake of my life, I needed to physically clear the clutter around me as well. Most of the time our outer space is reflective of our inner space (just ask my inbox in the month of August). One of the things I immediately did is clear out and reorganize my most common spaces (closet, bed, and office…known as the garage). I also digitally burned up a lot of things. One example was clearing out all of my old text messages, podcasts, and pictures on my phone. This process has even continued during my time of reintegration as well. It’s incredible how much lighter your life can feel when you don’t have all sorts of things physically taking up space around you.
Well, as we come to the end of my time of renewal I know what you’re thinking and the answer is “no.” I didn’t go explore an ancient tomb or find a new waterfall or pot of gold. At some point there may be a need for this, but in the midst of so many transitions, my body didn’t need the weight of travel or new terrain. It’s had plenty of transitions from this past year. What my soul truly needed was some words from God. And in time, I believe I received a couple.
What We’re Looking For…
Here is the final thought I would leave with anyone who dares to try and take a time of spiritual renewal. I think all of us secretly hope that if we take time like this to journey to the top of the mountain we’re going to have a major revelation or hear God’s voice audibly. What’s convicted me is that those moments are incredible but it’s not as forming as the way God tends to reveal God’s Self to us.
At one point in the Old Testament, we have a story of one of God’s friends (Moses for you Bible geeks) getting the opportunity to see God. The way he sees God is unique though. It’s less like an IMAX theater experience and more like hiding in your bedroom closet when you were little. God tells his friend to hide in a narrow crack of a mountain, or a small broken area of the mountain if you will, and wait for God. The moment he sees him, he doesn’t see God’s face, but sees God’s back.1 It’s strange, but it’s how God worked and is also working today.
We want these moments where the face of God flashes before us as we stand on top of the mountain of life. The most common work of God though tends to be us sitting in a quiet, small, cracked part of life and waiting to see the back of God.
Why the back?
Well, because God’s presence is usually most clearly seen when we look in the past. It’s always hard to sense God in the present. It’s the past where we become confident of what we are unsure of in the present.
But here is the best news I want to leave you with, friend. Remember, we see God’s back most of the time because all the time our God is on the move in front of us. God doesn’t sit still. God is in motion.
The question is, “Are we willing to sit still enough to come to know how God is on the move in our life?”
References
1This is from the account told in Genesis 33 of the Old Testament.