What’s Your Favorite Type of Music?
Let’s talk about your upcoming year through a question I love being asked. I always have a go-to answer, “What’s your favorite type of music?”
I’m not attached to one particular genre. If you were to look at my recent playlist for music, it would confuse you as much as a “Chameleon in a bag of skittles” (Thanks for the saying Bob Goff1). I’m not looking for one genre, but I’m looking for something within any genre I hear.
I love any type of music where I can truly feel.
There is nothing more riveting than connecting to the feelings of an artist at the time they wrote their song. It’s not about the combination of chords or notes for me, but the feelings of having my heart strings strummed the same way as when the artist wrote it.
All that to say, I want to talk about a song that came out of left field. Not because I think we should all subscribe to this artist, but because of what they put on display for the world to feel this year that I think is coming for a lot of us including, you.
Follow the Bieber
Lonely, by Justin Bieber, came out of the blue during 2020.2 You expect his work to always be a “bop”. His music is something you would play in the background of a Prom or entering into a basketball stadium right before a game. This song, Lonely, is anything but fitting those descriptions..
Let me put it this way. You would not play this song at your 4th grade cousin’s birthday party like you would “Never Say Never.” He’s not that type of artist anymore.
Lonely is filled with some brutally tough language. It’s mellow, reflective and honestly depressing. The music is an invitation to encounter the raw emotions of this past year swirling around in his heart. You can give it a listen, but don’t do it around little ears without listening to it first.
The song is a confession of how he felt like no one was there for him. How his earlier state of life created so much anxiety in him. He speaks honestly about how much damage was done to him and also through him because of this experience.
The brilliance of the lyrics in my opinion is what he does in the chorus. Every time he sings the, “lo-o-o-onely,” he stretches it out to where you can hear the word “low” three times within it. The songs give you the eerie goosebumps if you let it.
This song came as a surprise to me when I heard it. Mostly because it stirred something within me that came out of nowhere. In many ways, I actually think Justin was onto something in creating this song because it’s what’s to follow in all of our 2021 years.
What’s to Follow 2020
Reentry into the world is going to be a shock for most of us. We won’t be ready.
Mostly because we’ve become so accustomed to a different way of life and at some point (likely) we will be invited to re-enter into a form of the world we left behind in March of last year. I know everyone is pumped to put 2020 behind us.
If you’ve allowed yourself to go there, I can imagine you’re anticipating joy, excitement and relief to all be emotions you will feel within this next year. And those emotions may be on their way. But I do believe Justin did in this song what many of us will be doing in 2021.
Grief. Lament. Mourning.
Not to be a downer, but I’m getting a sense many of us have pushed some things down that we fooled ourselves into thinking we were done feeling. I’m imagining last year’s emotions will be the equivalent of how, when you were little, you tried to push a pool noodle to the bottom of the pool floor only to have it rush back up the surface and knock you straight in the face.
Here is why I bring up this song and this year.
Lonely, in essence, is a necessary song of lament and grief.
There is no climb at the end where things get better. The music doesn’t go upbeat. It’s a confession. It’s a cry. It’s a song that says, “this hurt” and doesn’t rush to explain it or justify it.
I want us to pay attention to how this song is a great current day example of what the ancient world meant for the words lament. Lament is sitting in the deep hurt, aftereffects, loss, disappointment, and sorrow of the past in the present.3
It recognizes there is something wrong in the world. Things went wrong during this period of the past. And it’s a confession that we are also what’s wrong with the world.
One of the things I hope for us is that we develop this muscle as Justin did to write this song. We need spaces to feel the reality of what just happened to us. We lost people. People didn’t care about other people. Opportunities to listen to injustice, celebrate life, and make changes to our world didn’t happen.
Some of that is our fault. Other things were out of our control.
We need a safe place to get it all out. Where we speak our frustration. Where we say what we missed. Where we say what was “taken” from us. Where we say what we did and what we didn’t do. Where we say what powers beyond us did.
Don’t get me wrong, I want us to move forward just as much as the next human being on the planet. The way to move forward though is to not move too quickly from what has happened to us. If we do, we will find ourselves stuck in 2020 long after the calendar no longer reflects it.
It is only when we feel something at the core — when we develop the truest feelings at the core of our being — that makes us change, seek a God who is greater than ourselves, and live in a different way than we did before.
Ask Yourself This Simple Question
Ultimately, this is what I’m saying as you launch into this year.
“Follow the Bieber.”
It’s meant to be humorous, but also have a touch of truth.
Make some space for the grief, lament, and sorrow that you encountered this past year. Take time before God and others to admit what’s been swirling around inside of you. (Heads up, tell them that’s what you’re doing, don’t just verbally puke it on them without warning)
If you have no idea if you’ve done this or not, here is a gut check for you to start the process. When was the last time the words, “not good” left your mouth in describing how you’ve been. None of us were truly good this past year. You don’t need to do this with everyone, but it doesn’t hurt to share the rawness of life with someone.
To have a place where you finish these sentences…
I can’t believe this past year…
I’m hurting that I/we didn’t…
I have to confess, I’m not….
Like I said, we don’t move forward by moving past the verbalizing of these words. It’s through speaking these words, that we are able to begin the process of moving on. We all have some rawness of life to still embrace.
And let me tell you, there is plenty to go around right now…
The question is still the same from the beginning of this episode.
Can you feel it?
References
1Bob Goff, Dream Big (Nashville, Thomas Nelson, 2020), 22.
2Justin Bieber’s song, Lonely (with Benny Blanco), 2020.
3 Although I do not quote anything specific here, Rich Villodas has influenced my view of lament, especially in regards to racial reconciliation. You can read specifically more about lament in his book, The Deeply Formed Life, in the subheading labeled “The Habit of Lament” on page 75.